End

I posted 21 times for MGMT 450. Some comments, videos, explanations, pictures... In this course, we saw general topic of communication. We have an order but i think order is not key for topic because every topic is related each other very strongly. I missed the topic of success and actually i wonder for this.

Course was useful for me, especially, empathy and using of language styles were interesting. I could not say that i learned all of these thing because i believe that practicing and exercising language styles can be more didactic but this course create an attention in my head about communication. It is not just business oriented, in all of my relationships.

Now, i will do self - assessment.

See you later...

This was good

Quote from worksheet:

Even when in a position of authority, we choose to respond to a "no" by exercising the power of persuasion and example, as oppose to the power of domination or manipulation.

Request

In communication request are related with our needs which our not met. In order to met our needs we need requests but all of the request are not exact solution. We have to be positive when we make a request and this request have to link with our true needs. It must be clear.

In order to make clear request, there are some points:

• Making Requests Consciously
• Positive-Action Language
• Avoiding verb "to be"
• Asking for an action now
• Asking for a reflection
• Requesting honestly

And we should make specific requests in order to explain our needs. Making specific requests are linked in topic of respect too.

Trust

Trust is important for working together. 

" Changing the way workers are treated may boost productivity more than changing the way they are paid" (Blinder, 1990, p.13 )

Look at this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alan_Blinder

Emphatic giving and receiving are key parts of communication with the way of trust. Language is related in this. There two tools: carrying and mattering... Are you willing to...? 

These tools are key for co - operation. As we talked in class healthy organization is communication based on trust. Additionally, using of language and listening are important but persuading is another part of trusty communication. 

The four D's of Disconnection

These are quoted from worksheets:

Rosenberg refers to "The four D's of Disconnection" as forms of life-alienating communication. These are:

• Diagnosis, judgement,analysis,criticism, comparison;
• Denial of responsibility;
• Demand;
• "Deserve" -oriented language. 

----

Accusations, blame, insult... All of these are murderer of good communication. Moralistic judgement do not support your communication skills. 

We do not search for right or wrong. 

Listening

When we tried to define listening, i made a definition in class. I said that if we talked with someone, we give messages and information in our sentences, in our gestures and body language. All of these are about our needs and so when we are listening our partner try to give us messages too which is about receiving needs. This was my explanation.

Listening is about quality and quantity of receiving of messages. Listening can build trust and respect between partners because you think that you are paid attention to. This is important for all of us.

We watched a video too:

This was funny.

Ok, what can we do to be a good listener?

- Eye contact
- Don't interrupt
- Pay attention
- Paraphrase understanding

 I posted another video about listening and i posted something about "Why Am I Talking?"

So, silence can be uncomfortable but we have to remember that how important good listening is. We should allow someone to rally ideas when he or she talking because with this strategy we can take messages more clearly and we can understand each other better. In addition to all of these, we know that, listening changes what happens next.

Another key part of being good listener is related in disturbing and intention. Anything (cell phones, laptops, etc...) can disturb you. We do not have anything around us disturbing. To add: check perceptipons and needs.

And remember:

DO NOT LİSTEN!
DO NOT TRUST!

For powerful listening, there are some points we discussed. These are:

1. Waiting
2. Getting the speaker to say more
3. Responding
4. Be emphatic and non-judgmental

Positive Action Language

We talked about Positive Action Language in class few weeks ago. There was an example which was very simple to understand that what is Positive Action Language:

A child on a street run a red light. Parent can reprimand this child but explaining the true thing with clear and smoothly can be a solution. Of course this way is linked with empathy. Every child can do this, so understanding child and explaining true way gives more better outcomes in communication between each other. This can build trust and respect with good structure.

If we link Positive Action Language in business world, i remember another example that we talked:

Manager: "I want a report from you for 10 day later."

Ok, employee gives this 10 days later but report is not enough for manager. Why? Because manager did not explain what he or she wants. What was the purpose of report? What was the need of manager? These were most important questions.

More Happier

Good communication can make us more happier but in order to make good communication there are some facts and rules.

We talked humanistic psychology few weeks  ago. We said that there are human needs and when human needs are met people can become more happier. In communication partners should stay connected and they should learn listen that way. They can try to connect each other to develop their relation and as we talked in class they connect like speed of light. Also, gestures and body language are another important tolls of communication. Sometimes these tools explain more thing.
People always have needs. Why? Because people have feelings and these feelings create some needs.
When someone accuse us like an enemy fire; we respond it different ways.

1.We fight back and accuse too.
2. We freeze
3. We run away
or

Observation...

We always have interpretations in communication but it can be sometimes strange. "Emre is not a good football player" and " Emre did not score in last 5 match" are different things. SO:

FACTS VS. INTERPRETATIONS

If we  put these in an order:

OBSERVATIONS
FEELINGS
NEEDS
REQUEST

Request is about our action in dialog.

More clearly:

I observe...
therefore i feel...
because i need...
-------

I behave like a connected way.

-------

How to reach empathy?

Mirror neurons, thinking actually, moralistic judgments, feelings, listening... All of these are big parts of the process of reaching empathy as we talked in class and watched in videos.

Ups

Taking letter about resignation? Being authority vs. controlling power ?  creativity and freedom ?

What is Organizational Communication?

Here is the video:

In this video you can listen something about organizational communication but explanation is not same with our course's view. It can be a different part. Not so specific.

This interpretation is so correct: Organization as communications. Yes, we shoul think organizations as communications because communication, especially good communication is most important part of organization because organization needs transferring information as video said.

This was another explanation which was talked in class.

Another screenshot...

WAIT

Why
Am
I
Talking

When we discuss about good listening others, that was the key point of discussion. Waiting and listening maybe include empathy and respect. So, in communication every facts related each other and it becomes so strong connection.

Here is another blog post that i copied about W.A.I.T. and leadership: 

At a Global 100 company, a new senior executive sat down with his division heads a week ago and told them to WAIT. His mentor, who ran and built this company, shared that same advice with him. At that time, the senior executive was confused. “Wait for what?” he wondered. WAIT, he learned, is an acronym that stands for “Why am I talking?”

Leaders are often asked and expected to talk, but unless they have something important to say, they’re generally better served by asking questions and listening. Questions empower and motivate others. They invite others to think and act and lead themselves.

The more you internalize WAIT (“Why am I talking?”) the more you will pause before you say something. You will speak and act more deliberately.

Model question-based leadership to your coworkers and encourage them to WAIT, too. Start by writing WAIT on your notepad before your next meeting.

Original page: http://www.co2partners.com/blog/2011/09/why-am-i-talking-wait/

This was an example for this that we watched in class.

Proof

Video - Mirror Neurons

Using Power and Authority - Cartoon 3

Find this:

Tayyip Erdoğan are criticized for using hard his "decision and military force" power when Gezi Park resistance. It is a cortoon which is about this conflict. 

The Ten Commandments (!)

NVC trainers Inbal and Miki Kashtan characterize the assumptions underlying NVC as:

1. All human beings share the same needs
2. Our world offers sufficient resources for meeting everyone's basic needs
3. All actions are attempts to meet needs
4. Feelings point to needs being met or unmet
5. All human beings have the capacity for compassion
6. Human beings enjoy giving
7. Human beings meet needs through interdependent relationships
8. Human beings change
9. Choice is internal
10. The most direct path to peace is through self-connection

I researched so many thing about communication and empathy  HUH! There are so many thing. I saw these on Wikipedia when i read for to understand what is NVC is. I did not guess that there are many theories about these topics. This was confession :)

I think these ten subjects can be reasonable explanation but i do not have a huge knowledge about these topics and so i can't make right comments. I find it interesting and i post it.

Cartoon 2

Check this link out before look at the cartoon: NVC

The Empathic Civilisation

We watched a video in class which is The Empathic Civilisation. Out topic is about Emphaty. Click here for video: CLICK ON ME IF YOU CAN

We have many sentences and many thoughts. They are always in a war. Nobody wins. They have different results. Results start to fight too. Nobody wins. In my opinion results are our behaviors and gestures. As you can see these all about communication. As  Guisseppe said in the lecture, gestures and behaviors are maybe more than %50 in communication.
There are so many ways if you discuss about communication but emphaty can be one of the big part. Emphaty is not a tangible thing. It is like a process which is not willing to finish. For example, if you are talking someone, there is a information transfer process. You give messages, you receive messages... In this transfer process, in order to receive messages clearly and truly and also give messages more clearly emphaty is most important tool; because in my opinion, it is related to thinking and dreaming.
In normal situation, i wrote something else in this blog but i add and drop something. In whole course we always talk about emphaty because it is big part of communication but now i want to write something about the video: The Emphatic Civilisation. In this video, there is a part which is about mirror neurons. Mirror neurons explained shortly in Wikipedia like that: " A mirror neuron is a neuron that fires both when an animal acts and when the animal observes the same action performed by another. " This neurons are biological parts of emphaty. That was a good sentence: " We are soft wired to experience another's plight as if we are experiencing it ourselves."

This screenshot is about first emphaty attempt: Emphatic Distress. ( addition: it was a funny video.)

"Emphaty is the opposite of utopia" claims video. In order to understand it please read clouds.( It continues: THERE IS NO MORTALITY, NO SUFFERING, ) As we talked in class it can be a good example and please check "emphaty is a invisible hand" part we can assimilate to this directly Adam Smith's invisible hand theory.

I remember that time, so many millions want to help them. It was like an super designed organisation. People started to think for Haiti, for people who live there and they were sad. In this organisation there are two big parts:

1. Rapid information transfers via Internet (especially twitter). That is technology part and this tools encouraged people to think for Haiti.

2. People waked up on their daily life dreams, problems. I accused myself. It was interestin time. Thinking for a country was strange for me.

Cartoon

It is not directly related but please wrote this: http://www.text100-uk.com/author/robvdm/

Start Emphaty

Click on: http://startempathy.org/

Don't Know

I wrote so many things every time but i don't publish them because i want to add or drop something but wait for emphatic civilisation.